Randall Caselman
Bella Vista Church of Christ
January 13, 2002 a.m.
Genuine Happiness Through Forgiveness
Reading - Matthew 6.9-15 & Colossians 3.12-17
New Years is a time for fresh starts and new beginnings... It's a time to clean the slate... A time to commit ourselves to spiritual excellence. I want you to know this morning that there can be...
- No fresh starts...
- No new beginnings...
- No spiritual excellence...
- No genuine happiness...
- No excitement for life and living... As long as we are carrying Hurt... Hate... Anger... and Resentment in our hearts. So... Our lesson this morning is on forgiveness.
Two things we all need to do this New Year... First... We must accept God's absolute... total forgiveness... and then, we need to learn to forgive others. Paul says to the Philippians... Forgetting the past... I press on to the goal. Church... Unless and until we can clean up our past we will never have a happy... contented... peaceful present, nor future.
The reason, you see, is that the human heart can't carry two thoughts at one time. If our hearts are occupied with resentment, then there is no room for contentment. Unforgivness is a toxin... It poisons our heart and mind with BITTERNESS.... UNREST... and DEPRESSION. Unforgivness overshadows and overwhelms the good life God means for us to enjoy..
You see, regardless of...how many times we come to church; how much we pray; how often we read our Bibles; how much money we give to the Lord; how many good works we try to lose ourselves in, genuine peace... happiness... and well-being will evade us until we...
ONE... Accept God's divine forgiveness of wrongs we have committed....
TWO... Until we have forgiven others
For many, unhappiness... discontent... and bitterness are nothing more than frozen ANGER... caused by our own spirit of unforgivness. Those who are always critical and judgmental of others are suffering from unresolved guilt in themselves... Caused by unforgivness of others, or a failure to accept God's Divine pardon. So, you see, we have the ability to guarantee our own happiness by forgiving others. Let's see what we can learn about this important Biblical subject...
First... By defining forgiveness.
Webster says forgiveness is...
- To cease to feel resentment against another on the account of wrong.
- To give up any claim to retribution.
- To absolve.
- To pardon.
- To remit the penalty.
The Greek word literally means to send away or to put away. Forgiveness demands that we revise our feelings toward the person by PUTTING AWAY THE PAST... and that we be open to a new relationship based upon a new beginning... A fresh start.
Well... Why do we find forgiveness so difficult?
First... I think it is because forgiveness is unmerited. Forgiveness is difficult because it is unearned... It is a free gift to the forgiven. Let's say you have a $10,000 debt on your VISA card, and the company writes you a letter saying... The debt is forgiven. Did you earn that?... No... It is a gift.
Say the word with me... FORGIVE... Forgive. Did you hear it?... We can't say forgive without saying GIVE. Forgiveness is a gift... Unmerited... Unearned. Forgiveness can't be earned... It is not deserved. Do we deserve God's forgiveness?... No. Can we earn His forgiveness?... No.
Ever heard somebody say... I'm not going to forgive them... Because they don't deserve it. That individual does not understand forgiveness. For... Give... Ness... is an unmerited gift... I think that's why it is so difficult for us.
Secondly... Forgiveness is difficult because it is unnatural. In Phillip Yancey's book... What's So Amazing About Grace, he writes... The law of nature admits no forgiveness.
- Rabbits and mice don't forgive hawks for eating their mates and offspring.
- Fish don't forgive sharks for eating their companions.
Yancey says... It is a dog-eat-dog world we live in... Not dog-forgive-dog. Then he points out that our major institutions: financial... political... and athletic... work on this same unrelenting principle.
- A bank never says... Well, you still owe three car payments, but that's OK just forget it.
- An umpire never says... You were really out, but because of your spirit for the game, I'm calling you safe.
- What politician responds to his opponent by saying... You win, but I'm going to let you serve
as our president?
You see... Our world teaches us... Programs us... Conditions us... To live by an eye-for-an-eye principle. Gandhi once said... If everyone lived by an-eye-for-an-eye principle, it wouldn't be long until the world would be blind... He was right. Unforgivness may be natural... But forgiveness is necessary.
Note with me now some reasons why forgiveness is so important?
First... Because it is crucial to our mental and physical health. The most common Greek word for forgive in the New Testament literally means to release... to send away... to free. Folk... forgiveness is not just setting somebody else free... It's not just releasing another. When we truly forgive, we are releasing self. We are setting self free.
Listen to these scriptures that verify this concept of forgiveness:... Job 5.12... Resentment kills a fool. (Resentment means living past hurts over and over and over again. Know anybody who has ruined their health by resentment... by failing to forgive?) Job 18.4 says... You tear yourself to pieces with your anger. (No wonder Paul said... Do not let the sun go down on your wrath... Be angry and sin not.)
Here is something else... When is resentment and hate satisfied?... Never!!... Never!! I hear people who witness capital punishment say... It will or it has brought closure. After watching someone die... Do they really feel better... Are they happy now? Did that death bring happiness... joy... peace... and contentment into their lives?... No. Feelings of hate and resentment will return again and again, and again... until they destroy us. Folk... If we are out to settle the score... We will never rest. Indeed... When we forgive... We set a prisoner free... and then discover that the prisoner was us!! Indeed... Forgiveness is crucial to our physical and emotional health.
Secondly... Forgiveness is crucial to our spiritual well being. How crucial?... Listen... For if you forgive men who sin against you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
The greatest cost of getting even is that we cannot be forgiven. That's scary, isn't it? Now Jesus is not suggesting that our forgiving others earns or merits our forgiveness from God... but He is saying that our failure to forgive blocks His forgiveness.
In Matthew 18... Jesus tells a story about a man who begged the King to forgive his ten million dollar debt... He did... Yet, immediately this man went out and found one who owed him a few dollars and he would not forgive him, but had him thrown in jail until he paid.
The message is that God holds us accountable to pass on to others the forgiveness we graciously receive from Him. No wonder Jesus commands... Do unto others as you would have them do to you. This is why Paul says... Bear with one another, and forgive one another, as the Lord forgave you. You see... Our forgiving others is crucial to our relationship with God.
Then thirdly we note that... Forgiveness is crucial to our witness. Earlier in the Lord's prayer... Verse 10... Jesus instructed His disciples to pray... Thy kingdom come... Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
- Is there any hate in heaven?... No
- Any resentment in heaven?... No
- Any retaliatory schemes in heaven?... No.
- Any disunity in heaven?... No.
- Any fights in heaven?... No.
In heaven... Everybody is living at peace with God and with one another... Because of FORGIVENESS.
His kingdom... His will... Has come... Is within us... when we forgive as we've been forgiven. Paul writes:... Do not repay evil for evil... But be careful to do what is right in the sight of all men. (What is right??)... As far as it is possible, as far as it depends upon you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge... But leave room for God's wants. For it is written, it is mine to avenge, I will repay, says the Lord.
The Hebrews writer says... Make every effort to live at peace with all men everywhere. Nothing makes this possible like forgiving those who have trespassed against us. Listen now to what Jesus says is a sign... a witness to our world... by this... by this... all will know that you are My disciple, when you love one another. Forgiveness is crucial for the world to know...that we belong to Jesus... that His kingdom has come in our lives... and that we are living according to His will.
Let's note some Biblical concepts concerning our forgiving others. Forgiveness is a personal choice.
Monday, December 1, 1997, about a dozen students were praying, as they did every morning, in a hallway at Heath High School in Paducah, Kentucky. As a young man closed that prayer circle, there was the sound of gunshots. A fourteen-year-old student had opened fire on the group, calmly shooting students one at a time. When it was all over, three were dead and five others seriously wounded. One of the injured girls, fifteen-year-old Melissa Jenkins, had spinal cord injuries that would leave her a paraplegic for life, yet from her hospital bed said, Tell him I forgive him. How can someone who has been hurt so badly forgive so easily?... Because they choose to. Paul tells us that... All things are possible through Christ... If He lives in us.
You see.. forgiveness takes place inside the person doing the forgiving. Unlike reconciliation... forgiveness only takes one... that's us... that's us. Folk... forgiveness does not depend upon the behavior or repentance of the one who hurt us. We must never wait on another individual to say they are sorry. Just forgive... Just forgive... Remember, forgiveness is a gift.
- Esau forgave Jacob without being asked.
- Joseph forgave his brothers, before they showed any sign of repentance.
- David forgave Saul while he was still in pursuit of him... Still trying to kill him.
- On the cross, Jesus said... Forgive them, they know not what they do.
- Stephen, dying from the stones, asked God to forgive the very ones hurling the stones.
Isn't it interesting that in none of these cases did anyone say... Forgive me before that forgiveness was granted? We must have shoulders big enough to just bear the hurt and forgive unconditionally. Indeed... Indeed!!... We will be blessed by God for such forgiveness.
Does forgiveness demand that we forget? The answer is yes... and no. There is obviously no way to purge the memory of an offense. And the deeper the hurt, the more difficult it is to keep the memory from coming to mind. We are not a computer, we can't just strike a delete key and our minds go blank. It's true... that God promises to forgive our sins and remember them no more.. You see... He refuses to call our sins to mind... He promises not to bring them up any more. He does not base our future relationships on past forgiven debts and transgressions.
That is exactly what is involved in our forgiving others. Forgiveness simply means that we have removed that offense... that hurt out of the picture of any future relationships with that person. This brings up... How often should we be willing to forgive? Peter came to Jesus asking... Lord... How many times shall I forgive my brother? Jesus' reply undoubtedly stunned Peter and the other disciples as He said... I tell you... Not seven times... But seventy times seven.
Our fleshly nature immediately protests such an answer as being unreasonable. We ask... At what point does grace and mercy become gullibility? Forgiveness is unnatural in our world economy. But Scripture teaches us to pardon indefinitely. Jesus is teaching us that true forgiveness permits no score cards. Seventy times seven means keep on forgiving without keeping a record. Paul tells us why in 1 Corinthians 13.... Because Biblical love keeps no record of wrongs suffered. Ephesians 4.32 says... Be kind and compassionate to one another...Forgiving each other... Just as in Christ God forgave you. Our forgivingness of others should be as boundless as the mercy of God toward us.
Then we ought to forgive because relationships are worth it.
- An unforgiving spirit is what causes divorce.
- An unforgiving spirit robs us of a close relationship with our children.
- An unforgiving spirit alienates us from our parents.
- An unforgiving spirit divides churches.
- An unforgiving spirit destroys friendships.
- An unforgiving spirit keeps us from enjoying the fellowship God created us for.
Indeed... Relationships are worth extending forgiveness to others... Our marriages are worth it! Our church fellowship is worth it! Our friendships at school and in the community are precious and worth it!
Before we close our lesson... Let's note how we can instigate forgiveness? We must have a change of heart. Attempting forgiveness without changing our hearts always leads to serious problems within self and with our future relationships with the one we are attempting to forgive. Forgiveness must not be hypocritical. It must be genuine... true... and of pure motive.
We must pray for God's intervention in the process. We must admit our need, and with humility ask Him to:
- Soften our heart...
- Give us patience & understanding with one another....
- And mold it into the image of His Son.
We must be willing to get out of the revenge business. Romans 12.19 plainly says to us... Do not take revenge... But leave room for God's wrath... Vengeance is Mine... I will repay... Says the Lord. Folk... Punishment for sin... any sin is out of our hands... This is God's work... SO... Let's leave it there.
Then we must act upon our good intentions.
- Be ready to say... I love you... I forgive you.
- Invite the forgiven into our family & friendship circle.
- Do good to them.
- Speak well of them to others.
- Do not quench the spirit of forgiveness.
In closing, let me read what Phillip Yancey says about forgiveness...
Forgiveness breaks the cycle. Forgiveness does not settle all question of blame and justice and fairness: To the contrary, often it evades these questions entirely. But it does allow spiritual renewal within and allows relationships to start over. In this way, we differ from all animals. It is not just our capacity to think that makes us different, but our capacity to repent, and to forgive. Only humans can perform this most unnatural act. And by doing so only we can develop and maintain relationships with God and our brother which transcends the relentless low of nature.
So... This morning is our opportunity to clean up our PAST... To forget our past and press on to the goal... By accessing God's forgiveness made possible through His Son Jesus. I want you to know that you can go home FORGIVEN...
- Free from the guilt of every sin you've ever committed...
- Free from any sin debt... and shortcomings.
You can go home a child of God by... Faith... Repentance... and New Testament baptism... Immersion in water for the forgiveness of all your sins.
Perhaps some of us need to forgive someone that has offended us and enjoy the blessings that God has promised to those who will extend such mercy.
Maybe we need the prayers of the church to help us deal with a spirit of unforgivness.
Perhaps, we need to accept the forgiveness of a brother who has offered it.
Whatever your need, respond to the lesson publicly or privately as we stand and sing this invitation song together. Will you come?
