Randall Caselman
Bella Vista Church of Christ
November 3, 2002 P.M.
Overcoming Resentment & Bitterness
Acts 8.4-25
Our Sunday evening study is titled... HEARTS FIT FOR THE JOURNEY.
Life is a JOURNEY... The Bible tells us that... As a man thinks in his heart... So is he.
So... We are working on our hearts... Making them fit for the Journey. With this series of lessons... We are learning how to jettison the everyday psychological baggage which...
- Burdens our hearts...
- Drags us down...
- Exhausts us physically...
- Tries our patience...
- Depresses us...
- Holds us back...
- Makes us weary...
Two weeks ago... We talked about the problem of Murmuring... Complaining... Faultfinding... And how they destroy our enjoyment of the journey.
Now... Tonight we examine the problem of RESENTMENT & BITTERNESS... And how we can overcome it
Imagine that a man comes wanting to shake hands and strike up a friendship. The only problem is that he is dragging a dead, rotten carcass of a dog behind him He says... I know he stinks... But I just can't let him go... Would you like to help me pet him? None of us would carry around a dead dog... But many of us drag around something just as smelly and offensive:
- Resentment and bitterness.
- Holding a grudge...
- Allowing bitterness to live and reign inside our hearts... Can and will ruin our lives, and will certainly keep us from enjoying the journey.
For instance... Remember the classic novel... MOBY DICK? The great white whale had crippled Captain Ahab... And from that point on... He became obsessed with destroying Moby Dick. His whole life evolved around his resentment and bitterness. It tainted all that he did. His bitterness twisted him into a cruel and hateful person. As one reads the book... It becomes plain that the real victim of Ahab's hatred was Ahab himself. His obsession made him the most unhappy man.
The story is told of two writers who were bitter rivals. They were attending the same book signing party...
- One said to the other... I read your new book and liked it... Who wrote it for you?
- The other replied... I'm glad you liked the book... Who read it to you?
Bitterness... We've all seen it... We've all heard it... Maybe we've even harbored some in our own heart... Perhaps some of us are dealing with bitterness even tonight.
Bitterness is a terrible thing... It is a sin!! Bitterness makes us miserable... And it makes those around us miserable as well. As we study tonight... I want us to look at the following:
- What is bitterness?...
- What causes us to become bitter?...
- What bitterness does to us?...
- And how we can keep from being bitter.
Access a worship bulletin and let's notice some scriptures together... READY?
First... We need a definition. Webster says bitterness is an attitude of unfriendliness... resentment... and animosity. You see, there is a fine line, a narrow margin between...
- Bitterness...
- Animosity...
- And Resentment.
The three go hand-in-hand
Doris Black says... If we fail to overcome our resentment and animosity... Then it is likely to develop into bitterness. Bitterness is a malignant from of resentment and animosity. And it is capable of spreading rapidly until it affects all areas of our lives causing us to become harsh.. reproachful... unpleasant... and unfriendly people.
Bitterness works like this...
- Someone does us wrong and gets away with it... So we become bitter.
- Someone else achieves the success that we feel like we deserve... So we become bitter.
- Life is unfair in some way... And so we become bitter.
Our bitterness results in our being ugly, hateful and unfriendly to others.
Now... Let's note some New Testament verses that mention bitterness. And see what we can learn about our subject.
Ephesians 4.30-32...
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.
Paul is talking here about putting off the old man & putting on a new man. You see... There are certain attitudes that have no place in our hearts... As God's children, one of these is bitterness. A bitter heart grieves the Holy Spirit because it is filled with anger and animosity. Bitterness prompts us to be unthankful... With a heart of ingratitude. A resentful heart is one that's going to speak bad... ugly... evil... of and toward others. Know anyone who exhibits any of these traits?... Chances are they are harboring bitterness.
Church... Notice what Paul says we need to replace bitterness with... Get rid of bitterness and replace it with... (WHAT?)... Kindness and forgiveness. Do you see what Paul is saying?... We can't be bitter and kind at the same time. We can't be resentful and forgiving at the same time. We have to get rid of one in order to replace it with the other. Henry Ward Beecher once wrote... "Every man should have a large cemetery in which to bury the faults and hurts caused by his friends."
Hebrews 12.14-15...
Pursue peace with all men, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking diligently lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.
This passage lets us know in no uncertain terms that bitterness always causes trouble. This passage tells us that bitterness causes relationary problems. Bitterness causes a person to turn his back on the grace of God. The Bible plainly teaches that we cannot have a right relationship with God while pursuing bitterness and animosity toward a brother.
James 3.13-14...
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-centeredness in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.
- James says that bitterness is connected with envy & SELFISHNESS.
- Bitterness grows rapidly in a heart that is focused on self.
- Bitterness comes when we feel we don't get what we deserve.
You see... Bitterness is frequently the result of OUR wanting something that someone else has. In fact, that is what envy is. This may be a natural response on our part, but it's an unwise... unscriptural, and an ungodly response. A truly Christ-like individual will refuse to allow his or her heart to be filled with bitterness.
Colossians 3.19...
Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
In Paul's day, women were second class citizens with almost no rights under law. They were frequently mistreated by their husbands and other men in the community. But Paul made it clear that spiritually speaking, men and women stand on an equal level before God... "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." There probably were some men who didn't like this idea of equality and who needed Paul's reminder to not be bitter toward there wives.
Now... With these scriptures in mind... Let's examine a couple of lives filled with bitterness...
And see what we can gain from the respective narratives.
First let's look at our text... The narrative is about Simon the sorcerer.
According to verse 9... He astonished the people of Samaria claiming to be someone great. Everyone said of him... "This man is the great power of God." But the truth is, his power didn't come from God. He was merely a magician who tricked people into believing he had supernatural abilities.
When Philip was preaching in Samaria... Simon was among those who believed... And was baptized. Verse 13 tells us that Simon was amazed, seeing the miracles and signs which were done. He was amazed because these men were actually able to do great things by the power of God. You see... They actually had the power... That he had claimed to have for so long.
In verse 18 & 19 Simon asked if he could purchase this miraculous ability with money. Peter rebuked Simon saying... "Repent of your wickedness, and pray to God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity."
It wasn't just that Simon wanted to do something the Apostles could do. You see, animosity was involved. There was resentment in his heart. He was harboring bitterness. And this condition called for repentance on the part of Simon...
And folk... It calls for repentance on our part tonight. Bitterness is a sin!!... A sin that Peter says needs to be repented of... And the individual prayed for. Are we listening?... This is not some old fashioned... out-of-date doctrine. It is Bible...Bitterness is a sin that must be repented of.
Next... LetŐs notice the older brother of the Prodigal son. Turn to the parable in Luke chapter 15... You remember the context?... Jesus has told three parables...
- One about a lost sheep...
- Another about a lost coin...
- And then the lost son... About a boy who broke his father's heart by going off to live in the far country of sin... There he wasted his father's inheritance in rebellious, sinful living
He lost everything... And he ended up working in a pigpen feeding swine.
- He knew he didn't deserve his Father's forgiveness...
- But he thought his father might take him back as a servant...
- And give him a job working out in the field.
But what he found instead... Was a father anxious to see him come home.
- A Father who had kept an eye on the road since his leaving.
- A Father who greeted him with open arms.
- A Father who threw a party in honor of this repentant son.
It was a happy occasion... There was reason to celebrate.
But there was one who was unwilling to celebrate... Listen to the narrative:
"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. `Your brother has come,' he replied, `and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, `Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!"
On the outside, this older brother was everything a father could want a son to be... RIGHT?
But inside he was filled with.. Anger, jealousy, RESENTMENT, animosity. He is a classic example of bitterness. It's easy for us to give in to bitterness... Especially if we feel we've been victimized in some way.
- Maybe we've been betrayed.
- We trusted someone... And they hurt us.
- Maybe we've been abused... Physically... Mentally... Sexually... Socially... Economically... Religiously..
- Perhaps we've been rejected.
- Maybe we've been done wrong in every way imaginable.
Perhaps we think we have the right to be resentful.
- So, go ahead and grumble.
- Get angry at other people who got what you didn't.
- Go ahead and sulk.
- After all... The whole world is against us.
- Take every opportunity to accuse others of wrongdoing.
- Keep a list... Make sure we don't forget anything from anyone!!
- Spend a lot of time whining about how unfair life is.
- Complain about how nobody listens to us... Nobody cares about us... Nobody treats us right.
- Go ahead and become a bitter person because you have the right to.
It's tempting at times to give in to bitterness... Isn't it? But I can tell you this, if we decide to be bitter... Don't plan on being happy... Because the two are mutually exclusive.
- A BITTER HEART CANNOT ENJOY THE JOURNEY!!
- A BITTER HEART WILL MAKE EVERY MINUTE OF LIFE MISERABLE.
The good news tonight is this... We have a choice.
- We can choose, like so many do, to concentrate on our hurts.
- Or we can choose to put away our hurts... Before they become hates.
- We can choose to forgive those who have wronged us.
- We can learn to rejoice in the good fortunes of others... Even if we're neglected in the process.
OK... What are some other ways to overcome bitterness?
First... We must remember that it is a lie that all mankind are equal. Yes, all men may be created equal in God's sight, all are made in His image, all have souls worth saving eternally; bt not all are born... Live... or DIE equally... This is a lie from Satan.
Church... There is no way to create equality in this world... Democracy promised it, but failed to establish it. Communism tried, but failed even more miserably. Satan will sustain bitterness forever in the hearts of those who buy into the lie that we have been wronged, if we don't get to have everything someone else has. Understand tonight that all men are not born... Nor do they live... or die equally. Indeed... Sometimes Life is unfair... So accept it!... Get used to it... And make the most of it.
Remember we have a great deal to be thankful for... Count our blessings. The older brother had forgotten that all his father had belonged to him. Daddy had to remind him of this.
Ladies... Have you ever felt resentful because...
- The kids have the mumps...
- The car is broke down...
- The washing machine overflowed...
- The meatloaf boiled over in the oven...
- And your husband called saying he would be late because he was going to the lake.
God has a preventive attitude for us... Give thanks in all circumstances. In this case, perhaps this lady could be thankful that...
- She has otherwise healthy kids...
- She has a car...
- She has a washing machine...
- Food on the table...
- And a husband that has a good job.
When resentful thought start to come... We must stop and count our blessings. You see the older brother was bitter because he focused on what he didn't have to the point that he forgot what he did have... RIGHT?
Thirdly... We can rid ourselves of bitterness by sharing with and SERVING others. CARL MENNIGER was once asked what he would do if he knew that he was dying?... He said... I would find someone else in a worse condition than myself and I would serve them.
Again, this is Bible... Serving others is the greatest attribute of Christ-likeness. God was a servant... He served us by giving His only begotten Son. Jesus was a servant... He did not count equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking on the very nature of a SERVANT. Greatness in the Kingdom of God is described by Jesus in terms of SERVING OTHERS... Becoming the servant of all.
Church...
- Do we want to be like God?
- Do we want to be like Jesus?
- Do we want to be great in the Kingdom?
- Do we want to overcome bitterness?
Then WE MUST learn to LOSE OURSELVES IN SHARING... And SERVING OTHERS.
I don't know what kind of hurts have been inflicted on each of you here TONIGHT... But I do know that everyone of US have suffered hurts of one kind or another. So, every single one has the right to be bitter... If we want to... If we choose to be. But... But... I want us to keep in mind that we have a choice. And that choice will go a long way in determining whether life is happy or not. But believe me... It will lighten the load and make the journey of life much more enjoyable.
Then finally... Forgiveness is often the key to overcoming bitterness. If you forgive men their sins... Your Father will forgive you... But if you do not forgive men their sins... Your Father will not forgive our sins.
Church... God promises to bless our forgiving others. If others have wronged us and this is the reason for our bitterness...
- FORGIVE THEM...
- LET IT GO
Forgiveness cleans the slate... It gives us a new beginning... This is what we all need isn't it? Forgiveness ALWAYS... ALWAYS... Makes life's journey more enjoyable... ALWAYS!!
Now we must know tonight that genuine Biblical forgiveness is letting go of...
- The hurt...
- The animosity...
- The resentment...
That causes our bitterness.
Listen to the wisdom found in this poem...
As children bring their broken toys,
With tears for us to mend.
I brought my broken dreams to God,
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him,
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow"?
"My child"... He said... "What could I do?
You never did let go!!"
Tonight... Get rid of BITTERNESS... Crucify the old man... And put on the new... by Faith... Repentance... and New Testament baptism.
Tonight... Let us each... Confess our faults... And then enjoy the release from the unhappiness of bitterness & resentment.
Enjoy the Journey... Let go of the sin of bitterness... Answer His invitation now... As we stand and sing... Will you come?
