Randall Caselman
Bella Vista Church of Christ
November 10, 2002 P.M.
Winning Our Struggle With Discouragement
Reading - John 10.1-10
Our Sunday evening series is titled... Hearts Fit For The Journey.
We are talking about how to travel light... How to deal with those things in life that will keep us from enjoying the Journey. Those things that keep us from the Good Life That Jesus Came To Make Possible. "I came that you might have life and have it more abundantly." Life at its fullest... Life at its best.
The first point I want to make is that... We all struggle with discouragement.
If not today... It won't be long until we will face discouragement of one kind or another. It is just a part of living.
- We have some here this evening that have put out 20... 30... 40 resumes and still no job.
- Perhaps we are struggling with some ugly sin that just keeps haunting us.
- Maybe it is the monkey of addiction... Addiction to alcohol... Drugs... Pornography... etc.
- Perhaps we've been deeply hurt... And we are struggling with forgiveness.
- Some of us are discouraged because of the limitation of age... We can't do what we used to and
realize that we will never be able to again.
You see... The problem with discouragement is this...
- If we experience it repeatedly...
- If these occurrences come closer and closer and closer together...
- Or if we stay discouraged very long...
It can become a real problem... A real sickness. A sickness we know as despondence and depression. Both of these are serious in nature... and... They rob us of the good life... They keep us from enjoying the journey.
Secondly... Let's consider the question... What causes discouragement? I believe the answer can be found in one word...disappointment. And if we line up disappointment after disappointment... after disappointment, what's gonna happen?... We're going to become discouraged.
What we're looking at then is a continuum.
A continuum that starts out with disappointments... disappointments...
- That if we don't deal with, turns into discouragement ... Discouragement...
- That if we don't deal with, turns into disillusionment... Despondency... Depression.
So the question becomes...
- How can we minimize... How can we reduce our disappointments?
- Is it possible that we are doing something that contributes to our disappointments?
Now I am not so naive as to think that we are going to eliminate all disappointment from life. But we certainly don't want to be doing something that contributes to our disappointment.
Now listen closely... For the lesson, let me suggest this...
Because of our belief system...
Because of the attitudes we hold...
Because the way we approach problems, we frequently set ourselves up for... and prolong... sustain... our disappointments. Note these with me for our lesson tonight...
NUMBER ONE IS OUR UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF SELF.
How many of us have said... Well, I would never do that?...
Satan loves it! Because if he can get us to say... I would never do that... Then he knows exactly how to discourage and disappoint us. Because sooner or later we are going to face just such a set of circumstances... And we may fail. Peter is a good example of this unreasonable expectation.
In John chapter 13... Jesus tells His disciples that He must go and Peter quickly says...
- Lord, where are you going?...
- I'll go with you...
- I'll die with you...
- You can always count on me Lord...
- I will be faithful until the end regardless of what happens.
Peter really thought that regardless of what happened he would never forsake Jesus.
What was Jesus' response... "Peter, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times."
Don't you think Peter went away thinking.. Not me... I'm not going to do that, you can count on me. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS!!
Well... Before long, Peter finds himself in a situation where he disappoints himself due to his unreasonable expectations:
"Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, "This man was with him." But he denied it. "Woman, I don't know him," he said. A little later someone else saw him and said, "You also are one of them." "Man, I am not!" Peter replied. About an hour later another asserted, "Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galileean." Peter replied, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about!" Just as he was speaking, the cock crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the cock crows today, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly."
Notice Peter's response to this incident... Their eyes meet... And Peter can't stand it any more... So he goes away weeping bitterly.
Well... How did Peter get to this place of such disappointment? He got there by having the attitude... By believing that there were absolutely no circumstances and situations in which he would ever deny Jesus. We've all been there haven't we... We can ALL identify with Peter... RIGHT?
Now I want you to notice what Jesus did about this failure on Peter's part... For His response we go to the last chapter of John:
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."
Church... Do you know why disillusionment... despondency... and depression sets in when we FAIL and don't live up to our own expectations?... TWO REASONS...
ONE... Because we dwell on our mistakes and failure... Rather than ask and accept God's forgiveness.
TWO... We continue to focus on our failures rather than on our potential.
Did you notice that Jesus didn't focus on Peter's mistake? He didn't say... Peter you really let me down... I am so disappointed in you... I am not going to forget this. Instead he asked Peter three questions... Do you love Me?... Do you love Me?... Do you love Me?... If so... Feed My sheep... Take care of My lambs. Instead of focusing on Peter's fall... Jesus focused on his potential... He commissioned him to take care of his church... Feed My sheep.
Let me suggest here that God is not focusing on our faults... our mistakes... our sins. He is focusing on what He wants us to be... And do.
Paul says... Forgetting the past... I press on to the high calling of God.
Some of us here tonight need to just forget the past... RIGHT? You see... Most of our disappointments come when we:
- Have unreasonable expectations for ourselves...
- When we fail to fulfill these expectations...
- And when we focus on our mistakes.
Let me challenge all of us tonight... By thinking about the life of Jesus.
Do we ever see this kind of disappointment in His life?... NO!... WHY?
I don't think we see disappointment because Jesus stayed focused upon REALITY.
In the Garden, He didn't say... Father... I'll die before I deny you. No... Instead Jesus prayed for strength to do the Father's will. And Luke tells us... That angels came and strengthened Him... Ministered unto Him. I hope we can see the difference in unrealistic expectations and reality?
Secondly... We sometimes have unrealistic expectations of God and others.
We set ourselves up by thinking or saying, this is or this is not what I expect from you. This is especially true in our expectations of God. We believe that God ought to act and react according to our expectations... And when He does not... This leads to disappointment & discouragement.
Listen as I read about such an incident... Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments." "Which ones?" The man inquired. Jesus replied, "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself." "All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?" Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
The rich young ruler came to Jesus asking... What must I do to inherit eternal life. Jesus told him... To keep the commandments. His reply is...Been there done that... Got that T-shirt. Jesus says OK... Go sell all that you have and come follow me. This young man was disappointed and went away sad.... WHY was he disappointed? Because... Jesus didn't say and do what he expected Him to say and do.
Sometime we go to God looking for certain answers that we expect Him to give.
We set God up... And when He doesn't act... Or react according to our expectations, instead of looking at ourselves, which is where we should be looking, we become disappointed with Him. This young man went away thinking that God was too demanding... That Jesus was asking too much. When in reality, He was not asking any more of him than He ask of everybody. That is of allowing nothing to come between us and our following Him.
You see... The command had always been the same... No other gods before ME... Nothing had changed... It was simply the unrealistic expectations of this young man.
Church... Here is how we think... If we do everything right then what?... God will do His part and make life grand... Everything will come up roses... We think that if we are spiritual enough... THEN...
- We'll never get cancer.
- We'll never have a heart attack or any other health problems.
- We'll never lose a job.
- Our marriages will always be happy.
- All our children will turn out right.
- We'll never have any money problems.
- Everything will always be perfect.
Is this correct thinking?... OR... Have we set ourselves up for disappointment?
I have people say to me.. Brother Randall... If God will get me out of this bind... Over this illness... Then I'll be better and do more for Him. Folk... This may be setting ourselves up for disappointment... WHY?... WHY? Because God's agenda may not be our agenda. We think because we've done this and this and this... That God will do this and this and this. Then, when things don't turn out the way we expected... Who do we blame?... Ourselves... Or God? You see, in reality we have set God up to disappoint us... Don't do that... Don't do that!!
Then number 3... There is the unrealistic expectation of results.
How many of us would like to have the results of something without having to do the work necessary?
- How many of us would like to have perfect health... Without having to eat right & exercise?
- How many of us would like to have all the money we want... Without working for it?
- We want good marriages... Without spending the time, effort and sacrifice it takes to build
a relationship.
- We want to be better Bible students... Without having to study... and think?
- We want people to look up to us and respect us... Without doing those things that gain respect.
- We want to be known as godly people... Without the discipline it takes to attain such.
You see... We live in a culture that demands results without effort... That's an unreasonable expectation!
I believe a good example of this kind of thinking is found in Jesus' parable of the man who was improperly dressed for the wedding feast... And was expelled for his lack of preparations:
The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son... So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests. "But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. `Friend,' he asked, `how did you get in here without wedding clothes?' The man was speechless. "Then the king told the attendants, `Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
This man wanted to be a part of the wedding feast. BUT... He was not willing to take care of HIS responsibility... That of dressing properly. Notice... He has set himself up for disappointment.
Do you think we ever do this? How often do we want the benefits of God's Kingdom... Of His presence in our lives
- Without being willing to become changed people?...
- Without obedience... Without meeting God's demands?...
- Without discipline and discipleship?...
We are not willing to go through the process... To pay the price.
Scripture tells us that when we become a part of His Kingdom... We become a new creation. Church... We must understand that becoming this new creation... becoming this new person is a process.
- In Romans... Paul says... We are to become instruments in God's hands.... Slaves to righteousness.... Living sacrifices.
- In John... Jesus prayed... Sanctify them through Thy truth... Thy word is truth.
Sanctification is a life long process.... A process of walking in the light as He is in the light.
Christianity demands perseverance... Being faithful unto and until death.
You see church... God is in the process of...
- Molding us...
- Shaping us...
- Forming us...
- Developing us...
- Making us...
Into the person that He wants us to be... And this is not an easy process. If we think conversion... Becoming God's people and person is easy, then we are on a collision course with God... And we are setting ourselves up for some major disappointments... RIGHT?
All of you look great tonight... You really do... But I know that you went through a process to look like this. Some had to go through more than others... RIGHT? I mean for some of you, it must have been tough... Right... Woody?
You ladies have a diamond on your finger. That gold and stone had to go through a process to become something you would wear. In fact, Peter speaks of this process when he wrote... That the Christian life is like refining gold in a furnace... God brings about this process to remold... remake and reshape our lives into the people and person He wants us to be.
This man... At the wedding feast believed he could have the benefits of the wedding banquet without making the necessary changes... HE WAS WRONG!! I wonder how many times we bring about our own disappointments... By our unrealistic concept of what it takes to become... the people and person that God wants us to be.
OK - What must we do to be more realistic?... To protect ourselves from discouragement?
BE HONEST WITH OURSELVES.
Understand that we are sinners and we're gonna make mistakes... Some serious ones. People who think they must live absolute perfect lives, seldom, if ever, enjoy the journey.
DON'T DWELL ON OUR MISTAKES.
Accept God's grace... His Mercy... His Forgiveness... And get on with life. Forget the past... and get on with what God has commissioned us to become... and to do.
UNDERSTAND THAT OUR OWN AGENDA MAY NOT BE GOD'S AGENDA.
We must know that God is the potter... We are the clay... He is the refiner... We are the gold.
Yield to God's remolding... remaking.. and reshaping hand through the word and through His divine providence. Church... Don't fight God's intentions for us... But ask... What can I learn in this trial and trouble?
KNOW THAT IF WE ARE DISAPPOINTED IN SELF... WE CAN CHANGE.
Folk... This is the good news of the Gospel... The good news of Christianity...
- That... We can become children of God by faith, repentance and New Testament baptism,
immersion in water for the forgiveness of sins.
- That... If we are a child of God... And become disappointed with ourselves... We know that God is patient and longsuffering with us... Not willing that any should perish... But that all come to repentance..
- THAT... He is ready to work with us ... And for us to become what He wants us to be.
- THAT... This church is ready to pray with you... And for you in your area of disappointment, whatever it may be.
If you're here tonight and need to respond to this lesson... Let us help remove your discouragement by coming to Jesus tonight... Right now... As we stand and sing this invitation song.
Will you come!!
