Randall Caselman
Bella Vista Church of Christ
January 21, 2001 a.m.
Overcoming Discouragement
Reading - John 10.1-10
I struggled with what to preach about this morning. This lesson is more of the kind that I would preach on Sunday evening... But...
-Because so many of us are struggling with discouragement...
-And because Jared is reporting on our mission to South Africa tonight, I chose to do this this morning.
Question... How many of us have ever experienced discouragement?
Most of us have been there... Perhaps some of us are there now. If not, it won't be long until we will face discouragement of one kind or another. It is just a part of living. We have some here this morning that have put out 20... 30... 40 resumes and still no job. I talked to one yesterday about just this problem, and he is not the only one searching.
Perhaps we are struggling with some ugly sin that just keeps haunting us. Maybe it is the monkey of addiction... Addiction to alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc. Perhaps we've been deeply hurt and we struggle with forgiveness. Some of us are discouraged because of the limitation of age... We can't do what we used to and realize that we will never be able to again.
You see... The problem with discouragement is that if we experience it repeatedly... Close together... Or if we stay in it very long, it become a real sickness. A sickness we know as despondence and depression. Both of these are serious in nature. They rob us of the good life Jesus came to give us. However, I believe the Bible gives us some ideas on how to deal with this debilitating problem. Now... If you feel the lesson does not apply to you, then listen close so you can use it to help some of those around us.
I want to explore our subject by asking the question, What creates discouragement? I believe the answer is disappointment. And if we line up disappointment after disappointment... After disappointment... then we're going to become discouraged. What we're looking at then is a continuum. A continuum that starts out with disappointments...
That if we don't deal with turns into discouragement,
That if we don't deal with turns into disillusionment... despondency... depression.
So the question is...
How can we minimize... How can we reduce our disappointments?
Is it possible that we are doing something that creates or contributes to our disappointments?
Now I am not so naive as to think that we are going to eliminate all disappointment from life.
But we certainly don't want to be doing something that contributes to our disappointment.
Now listen closely... for the lesson... let me suggest this...
Because of our belief system...
Because of the attitudes we hold...
Because the way we approach problems,
We frequently set ourselves up for... and prolong... sustain our disappointments.
Note these with me:
Number one is our unrealistic expectations of self. Now, how many of us have said... Well, I would never do that? Satan loves it!
Because if he can get us to say, I would never do that, then he knows exactly how to discourage and disappoint us. Because sooner or later we are going to face just such a set of circumstances.
Peter is a good example of this unreasonable expectation.
Recall in John chapter 13... Jesus tells His disciples that He must go, and Peter quickly says... Lord, where are you going?... I'll go with you... I'll die with you... You can always count on me Lord... I will be faithful until the end regardless of what happens.
Peter really thought that regardless of what happened he would never forsake Jesus. In fact, we get the idea that he is insinuating that the others in the group might not be there for Jesus like he would be. What was Jesus' response... Peter, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times. Don't you think Peter went away thinking.. Not me Lord, I'm not going to do that, you can count on me.
But this is not what happened was it?
Peter finds himself in a situation where he disappoints himself due to his unreasonable expectations...
Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, "This man was with him." But he denied it. "Woman, I don't know him," he said. A little later someone else saw him and said, "You also are one of them." "Man, I am not!" Peter replied. About an hour later another asserted, "Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean." Peter replied, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about!" Just as he was speaking, the cock crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the cock crows today, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly.
Notice Peter's response to this incident.
Church.., notice what Peter did as soon as he denied Jesus... Peter turns and looks at Him.
What's Jesus doing? Looking straight at Peter. Their eyes meet. And Peter can't stand it any more... So he goes away weeping bitterly.
Well, how did Peter get to this place of such disappointment? He got there by having the attitude, by believing, that there were no circumstances and situations in which he would deny Jesus.
Have you ever been to the place in you life that you feel you have blown it?
That you did something you thought you would never be tempted to do?
I think we can ALL identify with Peter. RIGHT?
Now I want you to notice what Jesus did about this failure on Peter's part. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.
Church... Do you know why disillusionment... despondency... and depression set in when we FAIL and don't live up to our own expectations?... TWO REASONS...
ONE... Because we dwell on our mistakes and failures rather than ask and accept God's forgiveness.
TWO... We continue to focus on our failures rather than on our potential.
Did you notice that Jesus didn't focus on Peter's mistake? He didn't say... Peter you really let me down... I am so disappointed in you... I am not going to forget this.
Instead, he asked Peter three questions, Do you love me?... Do you love me?... Do you love me?
If so, feed my sheep... take care of my lambs. Instead of focusing on Peters fall, Jesus commissioned him to take care of his church, feed his sheep.
Let me suggest here that God is not focusing on our faults... our mistakes... our sins.
He is focusing on what He wants us to do.
Paul says... Forgetting the past... I press on to the high calling of God.
Church... Some of us here this morning just need to forget the past... RIGHT?
You see, most of our disappointments come when we:
1. Have unreasonable expectations for ourselves.
2. When we focus on our mistakes when we fail to fulfill these expectations.
If we focus on what we've done wrong... Then we are certainly going to be discouraged folk.
Let me challenge you by thinking about the life of Jesus.
Do we ever see this kind of disappointment in His life?... NO!... WHY?
I don't think we see disappointment because Jesus stayed in REALITY.
In the Garden, He didn't say... Father I'll die before I deny you.
No, instead Jesus asked for strength to do the Father’s will.
And Luke tells us, that angels came and strengthened Him, ministered unto Him.
I hope we can see the difference in unrealistic expectations and reality?
Secondly... We sometimes have unrealistic expectations of God and others.
We set ourselves up by saying... That's not what I expected from you. This is especially true in our expectations of God. We believe that God ought to act and react according to our expectations... Church, this frequently leads to disappointment and discouragement.
Listen as I read: Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments." "Which ones?" The man inquired. Jesus replied, "'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and `love your neighbor as yourself.'" "All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?" Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect; go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
The rich young ruler came to Jesus asking... What must I do to inherit eternal life?
Jesus told him... To keep the commandments.
His reply is...Been there, done that... Got that T-shirt.
Jesus says OK... Go sell all that you have and come follow me.
This young man was disappointed and went away sad.... WHY was he disappointed?
Because... Jesus didn't say and do what he expected Him to say and do.
Sometimes we go to God looking for certain answers that we expect Him to give. We have the idea that if we will do this, and this, and this... that God will in turn do this, and this, and this. We set God up... and when He doesn't act or react according to our expectations; when this happens, instead of looking at ourselves, which is where we should be looking, we become disappointed with God.
This young man went away thinking that God was too demanding, that Jesus was asking too much. When in reality... He was not asking any more of him that He asks of everybody.
That is of allowing nothing to come between us and our following Him.
But notice this, who was this young man disappointed in?... HIMSELF or JESUS?
I get the feeling he was disappointed in Jesus. He didn't get the answer he wanted.
Church, here is how we think:
If we do everything right then... What?.. If we do everything right then what?
If we do everything right then God will do His part and life will be grand,
everything will come up roses.
· We'll never get cancer.
· We'll never have a heart attack or any other health problems.
· We'll never lose a job.
· Our marriages will always be happy.
· All our children will turn out right.
· We'll never have any money problems.
· Everything will always be perfect.
Is this correct thinking?... OR... Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment?
I have people say to me.. Brother Randall... If God will get me out of this bind... Over this illness... Then I'll be better and do, and do more for Him. Folk, this may be setting ourselves up for disappointment... WHY?... WHY? Because God's agenda may not be our agenda. We think because we've done this and this and this, that God will do this, this and this. Then when things don't turn out the way we expected, who do we blame, where do we look?
Do we blame ourselves or God?
You see, in reality we have set God up to disappoint us. And when God disappoints us where do we turn?... In deed where do we turn? There is no place to go... RIGHT?
I know men and women who are no longer a part of the church, because they set God up, and when He didn't do what they expected, they left...they fell away. Instead of being AVAILABLE as people God can use. Remember... God never promised us a rose garden.
What He did promise us is His guidance and His presence as we walk through this life.
If we don't learn this lesson, then we are going to be disappointed an awful lot of the time.
Then, number 3... There is the unrealistic expectation of results. What do you mean, I have to change? How many of us would like to have the results of something without having to do the work necessary?
How many of us would like to have perfect health... Without having to eat right & exercise?
How many of us would like to have all the money we want... Without working for it?
We want good marriages...Without spending the time, effort and sacrifice it takes to build a relationship.
We want to be better Bible students... Without having to study.
We want people to look up to us and respect us... Without doing those things that gain respect.
We want to be known as godly people... Without the discipline it takes to attain such.
We want results without effort... That's an unreasonable expectation!
I believe a good example of this idea is found in Jesus' parable of the man who was improperly dressed for the wedding feast and was expelled for his lack of preparations.
"The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son... So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests. "But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. `Friend,' he asked, `how did you get in here without wedding clothes?' The man was speechless. "Then the king told the attendants, `Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
This man wanted to be a part of the wedding feast. BUT... He was not willing to take care of HIS responsibility... That of dressing properly. Notice he has set himself up for disappointment.
Do you think we ever do this?
How often do we want the benefits of God's Kingdom... of His presence in our lives,
Without being willing to become changed people?
Without obedience... Without meeting His demands?
Without discipline and submission?
We are just not willing to go through the process.
Scripture tells us that when we become a part of His Kingdom, we become a new creation.
Church... We must understand that this new creation... This new person is a process.
Paul in Romans says: We are to become instruments in God's hands. Slaves to righteousness.
Living sacrifices.
Jesus prayed... Sanctify them through Thy truth... Thy word is truth,
Sanctification is a life-long process. A process of walking in the light as He is in the light.
Christianity is perseverance... Being faithful unto and until death.
You see church... God is in the process of:
Molding us,
Shaping us,
Forming us,
Developing us,
Making us,
Into the character that He wants us to be... Into a character which reflects Him.
We must know that this is not an easy process.
If we think conversion, becoming God's person is easy... we are setting ourselves up for some major disappointments... RIGHT?
All of you look great this morning... You really do. But I know that you went through a process to look like this. Some had to go through more than others. RIGHT? I mean for Woody, it must have been tough.
You ladies have a diamond on your finger. That gold and stone had to go through a process to become something you would wear. In fact Peter says, the process God uses to refine us is much like gold being refined in fire. This man believed he could have the benefits of the wedding feast without making the necessary changes.
I wonder how many times we bring on our own disappointments... By our unrealistic concept of what it takes to become the people and person that God wants us to be.
OK, what must we do to be more realistic?
1. Be honest with ourselves. Understand that we are sinners and we're gonna make mistakes, some serious ones.
2. Don't dwell on these mistakes. Accept God's grace, mercy, forgiveness and get on with life.
Get on with those things God has commissioned us to do.
3. Understand that our own agenda may not be God's agenda. Understand that He is the potter, we are the clay. Yield to God's molding and reshaping hand through the Word and through His divine providence.
4. Know that if you are disappointed in the kind of person you are... You can change.
You can become a child of God by faith, repentance and New Testament baptism, immersion in water for the forgiveness of sins.
If you are a child of God and are disappointed with yourself, know that we are ready to pray with you and for you in these disappointments.
If you’re here this morning and you want to join this church family and use your time, talents, treasure, energy and His truth to his glory... Know that... as a baptized believer, we welcome you.
Come now, if we can help you, as we stand and sing this invitation song.
Will you come!!
