Randall Caselman
Bella Vista Church of Christ
May 13, 2001 a.m.

Parenting Lessons Learned From A Strange Narrative

2 Samuel 21.1-14

We learn some of our best lessons--Not from books but from observation.
Some of the best sermons are not from the pulpit--But from life.
Most of our attitudes were formed from observing our parents, especially our mothers.
We all swore it wouldn’t happen... But it did... Because we learn best from what we observe... We have become much like our parents.
And... We as parent and grandparents... need to understand this morning that our children and grandchildren are learning from watching us... And that to a large extent, they too will become much like us.
-What a SOBERING thought...
-What an awesome responsibility.

I want our Mother’s Day Lesson to accomplish two things...
-One to challenge us to become better examples for our children and grandchildren...
-And two... To be more appreciative of our parents... especially mother.
Go with me now, to a scene in Old Testament Israel.  I introduce you to a mother by the name of Rizpah.  She was one of King Saul's concubines... She gave Saul two sons.

Our text in 2 Samuel 21 takes place after King Saul’s death... David is now the King.  There was a famine in Israel that has been going on for three years.  David... and Israel had correctly concluded that God was punishing them for some wrong done in the past.  So, David goes to the Lord in prayer and asks why the punishment.  God's response was that the famine occurred because of something which happened during the reign of Saul.  The former King had killed a group of people called Gibeonites.

In order to better understand this... We must read Joshua chapter 9.  When the Israelites came to Canaan... They were told to clear the land of all their enemies.  The Gibeonites, seeing that they were going to be killed... asked to establish a treaty with Israel.  However... They misled the Israelites by telling them that they were from a far away land.  Israel didn’t consult with God... But made the treaty and swore by an oath not to destroy the Gibeonite people.  When Saul came along... He chose to violate that treaty, that oath and he killed many of the Gibeonites.
So... God has brought this famine.  When David asked the Gibeonites what might he might do to make amends so that God would remove the famine, the Gibeonites requested that seven sons of Saul be hanged.  This was done, and two of these sons belonged to Rizpah.

I believe this strange text can teach us some valuable lessons about parenting.

Lesson number one... God takes our promises seriously.
When we make a vow to the Lord... He expects us to keep our word!
  It didn't matter that the Gibeonites had deceived the people of Israel.
  It didn't matter that it was a foolish treaty.
  It didn't matter that years, even decades had passed.
They made the treaty under oath, and God expected Israel to keep their promise.

Church... When we make marriage vows... God expects us to keep our promise to Him and to our mate.
·  When we take an oath to tell the truth... He expects us to tell the truth.
·  When we sign our name at the bottom of a document... He expects us to meet the obligations we accept. 
·  When we promise to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord... He expects us to be faithful to that promise.
·  When we pledge faithfulness to Him... He expects us to live up to our pledge.

In this day when people are so adept at lying... and walking away from their commitments...we need this important message... Especially in the church of Jesus Christ.  Some of us have failed measurably here... May God help us to start this day to do better... RIGHT?

Secondly... We need to consult with God about significant decisions in life.
David summons the Gibeonites and asks them to name a punishment that would lift the curse.
But, David did not consult with God!  In his desire to fix the problem... David may have run ahead of God.  As a result of his actions Rizpah lost two sons... Seven young men died for something they didn't do.  You see, these seven young men may not have had to die... had David taken the problem to God. 

The principle is this... Wisdom dictates that we always check with God first.
This was obviously a powerful object lesson for Israel... And for us today...
But what a terrible price for this mother to pay... RIGHT?

Notice now some important lessons about parenting from the life of Rizpah.

First... Notice how she guarded her children.
Indeed--A mother has a special heart for her children, and death does not sever this tie...Does it?
Once a mother has felt life in her womb... There is a bond that is never broken.
Mothers who have lost a child at any age... even the unborn... never forget the pain.
  They deal with it... But they don't forget...
  They remember anniversaries.
  They place flowers on graves.
  A conversation can suddenly bring back the tears.
And I suspect that if you were to look around this auditorium, you would find some moist eyes even now... Because... The pain of the loss remains.

So... Rizpah camps out near her sons bodies... Keeping the vultures and wild animals away.
The parenting message here is that we too...Must keep modern day vultures away from our children.

There is the vulture of a godless life.
Today... we... and our children face the pressure to conform to this world.  Our children are being taught that faith in God is nonsense... useless... and for the weak.  Our children are being taught that God and His laws really have nothing to do with life and living.  Satan has been successful in systematically removing God...
·  From the halls of government...
·  From the courtroom...
·  And from our schools.
Folk... with No Bible... No prayer... No faith... No church... No God... Who will our children follow?... WHO INDEED???

You see... Unless we parents and grandparents provide an alternative, they will conform to the world.  We must guard them from the vultures of an immoral and undisciplined life.  We live at a time when everyone is urged to live for the moment... Grab all the gusto!!
  Indulgence, not sacrifice, is the watchword in our economy.
  Consumption, not restraint is the battle cry of today’s culture.

We live in a time when the pervasive psychology is permissiveness and self-gratification. 
We make poor choices... And when those choices backfire, we shift the responsibility to something... Or somebody else.
Daily... We’re being taught that we do not have to take responsibility for our own behavior.
Today we have defined sin as an effect... Not a choice.
No!... No!... Sin is not a disease... It is not a result of our genetics... or environment.
We must teach our children that sin is a determinate choice on our part to behave the way we want to behave... IMMORAL BEHAVIOR IS A CHOICE WE MAKE!

We must guard our children from the vultures of a trivialized life.  We live in a world, where life is destroyed on television hundreds of times each week.  Our heroes kill... and we cheer.  We’ve become so insensitive that, with ease, we end the life of a child by abortion without remorse.  Just because the pregnancy is inconvenient or embarrasses us.
  Life has been trivialized...
  Nothing matters...
Life loses its preciousness... Folk... God created us to live forever.
We must be more active in protecting our children from influences that will destroy them eternally.

Next... We notice the Diligence of Rizpah.
She stood watch from the beginning of the harvest... Till the rain came.  This text could mean one of two things...
1.  It could mean that the bodies hung there until the drought had ended.  This meant that Rizpah may have been outside for only several days... Or several weeks.
2.  The majority of scholars feel that the bodies hung there from the beginning of the harvest
until the rainy season.  In this case, Rizpah could have been out guarding those bodies for six months!

We don't know which view is correct... But whichever it is, we are awestruck with this mother’s perseverance... With her patience, Rizpah saw things to their conclusion... She never gave up... She kept-on-keeping-on... This is the demand of a mother’s love.
Indeed... Indeed!!... The key to being a great mother is patient persistence.

Day after day Rizpah stayed at her task.  I'm sure there were days she was tired... hungry... maybe even sick... but she kept at it.

What about us?... How many of us are better men and woman today because of the persistent... watchful... caring... diligence of our mother?

Church... Are we diligently caring and fighting for the souls of our children or grandchildren?
One of the greatest problem in the home today is pure laziness... A lack of perseverance.
God help us each to have more of the Spirit and determination of Rizpah.

Finally... We notice that this mother’s faithfulness was rewarded.  There is nothing that could give Rizpah her children back.  There is nothing that could fill the empty place in her heart.  But because of her actions the King took notice.  He had her sons buried in a proper manner... Rizpah achieved her goal, and not only this, she became a model for others who would come after her.

No matter what our circumstance... We can only do the best we can do.
  Rizpah couldn't bring her children back—But, she could make sure they were buried properly.
  We may not be able to undo the failures in our past—But, we can change the future.
  We may have made some serious mistakes with our children—But, for many of us, God has given us another chance through our grandchildren.
  We may not be able to restore things to the way they were—But, we can make things better than they are right now.
  We may not be able to correct some ugliness we’ve done to one another, But, we can say I am sorry... forgive me.
We may not be able to solve our children's or grandchildren’s problems—But, we can stand with them.... support them... walk through their problems with them.

Church... Here is our challenge... Here are some questions I want us to consider...

Do you know some discipline that your child needs in order to be closer to God?...
Correct them today... You’ll be glad you did.
-Is there a word of encouragement... or a word of forgiveness that our children... or our
parents need to hear from  us?... Then do it today... Time is running out.
-Do we need to reestablish a relationship with one of our children?... Or with a parent?
Folk... Stop waiting for them to make the first move... Take the initiative!
-Do we need to say... I love you... JUST Do it!
The reward of diligent parenting is children who are Happy... Content... and Faithful.
It is a reward that doesn't come easily... But is worth whatever it costs... Because Solomon said... Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart.

So... Let’s review what we have learned...
  We must begin taking our oaths and promises more seriously.
  Never make a significant decision without consulting God.
  We must diligently guard our children from the vultures of life.
  Begin today to take more of a hands-on approach to parenting...
Are we encouraging our children by our example to be students of the Word?
Are we encouraging faithfulness in Bible class and church attendance?
Do we devote time and effort to their spiritual growth?
You see... What they observe from us says more than what they learn from Bible classes and from church pulpits.
Folk... We must never give our position of influence to the television... the school... or the world.
We must become better examples to our children and grandchildren.

What do we need to do today to show our appreciation to our parents... Especially mother?
If they’re living... Call them... And just say... I LOVE YOU... AND I AM THINKING OF YOU.
If  they are gone... Take time to get down on your knees thanking God for their parenting efforts.

Well.. Rizpah was a great mother... But God is a great father.
He is patiently waiting for us to become His child this morning by faith, repentance, and New Testament baptism.

Perhaps... As children of God, some of us need to start over--Rededicating our lives to Him.
Maybe you want to become a member of this church family... Start today to work for Jesus under the leadership of our Godly Elders and alongside these great people.

The invitation is yours... As we stand and sing this invitation song... Will you come??